Capricorn in Love

It's not difficult to spot a Capricorn in love - at least in the initial stages. They tend to be crankier than usual, even if things are progressing well. No Capricorn, no matter how confident, wants to be seen throwing their hat into the ring unless they are 100% sure that a) it won't get thrown right back in their faces and b)they don't look foolish.

As with everything in else in their lives, in love Capricorns need to shut out the voice of reason long enough to hear what their hearts are telling them. They are by no means heartless or cold, but their ruler, Saturn, is always promising them what's behind door number two (and you know it's the car) if they behave themselves. He's never really specific about what behave means, so most Capricorns are secretly very superstitious. Some can't rest if there are dirty dishes in the sink; others can't fall in love until everything else is perfect. Like that's ever gonna happen.

The most frequent result is that love crashes the party, pissing Capricorn off royally in the process and we know what a cranky Capricorn signifies. Pretending that love isn't fun is their best defence against Murphy's Law.

For any other sign, these descriptions would be a warning of what to avoid. For you, Capricorn, they are like a shopping list. Choose which annoyance factor would make you the happiest and may all the Gods smile on you.

If you are a Capricorn with.....

Aries - It followed you home, it would be churlish and inhumane not to keep it. Plus it's so cute.

Taurus - In dicey public situations introduce this one as your accountant and you'll be safe.

Gemini - Like taking your drunk aunt Gert to a funeral - you will end up disowning her.

Cancer - You won't have to pretend to be unhappy - believe me everyone will understand.

Leo - Any suffering you do will be genuine - fetching, carrying, bowing, scraping.

Virgo - The perfect blend of condescension (you) and ingratitude (Virgo) - a lifetime of joy.

Libra - It may break your heart to pass this up but you'd wear it once and throw it away.

Scorpio - Watch your bank balance. Karma points for damage to your reputation.

Sagittarius - Out of your hair and off saving the world? Doesn't sound like your cup of tea at all.

Capricorn - Like America's Next Top Model when they get down to the last two - ugly and pointless.

Aquarius - Never sure if they're sober and will wish they'd just stop dancing for a minute.

Pisces - You would be absolutely forced to have an affair and that's no way to get to heaven.