Falling in love with love with Cancer......

Cancer love is the Marianas Trench of romance. It is a love the must be reciprocated with fearless commitment and is not to be undertaken by the false, the foolhardy or the faint of heart. The pressure is great; the rewards are immeasurable. Who's got what it takes?

Picture yourself, Cancer with each of these.....

Aries - As long as they're house-broken and self-cleaning, this could be that puppy you always wanted. Love and affection sprinkled with treats will win you a companion for life.

Taurus - There will always be muddy footprints tracked on your carpet. Hell even if you live in a mud hut, you can be sure, Taurus can find a way to muck it up even more.

Gemini - This will kick off allergy season nicely. And of course everyone thinks you're the weirdo, I mean how could anybody be allergic to something so pretty? Am I right?

Cancer - You'll have a hard time getting close enough to find out each other's names. Neither one of you will want to be the first to blink. Just turn around and walk away slowly.

Leo - This one will crack you open, and rip out your insides for a snack, leaving behind nothing but a trail of broken shell and a spreading butter stain.

Virgo - I'm not saying you need a pre-nup, but a list of rights and responsibilities wouldn't go amiss - something like a job description that lets you know who's in charge of what.

Libra - Remember Snow White? Cinderella? The Princess and the Pea? This is a high maintenance lover who tends to make you look a lot like an evil step mother.

Scorpio - Nobody can stir up your inner snob like a Scorpio. They won't do what you want them to and worse, they want their own way! Cretins!

Sagittarius - Never around when needed and always under foot when they're not. Showing up at all hours with friends in tow and never a phone call to let you know.

Capricorn - Beat this one to the pre-nup. You don't have to be a lawyer to know that Capricorn won't get any where without you so get your share up front.

Aquarius - You'll need an alibi going in because you will want to get rid of this one. Exterminate, eradicate, erase, end. Permanently.

Pisces - You better be in a take charge mood - all the time. Otherwise you'll wake up ten years from now to find yourself in the middle of a life you don't remember.

Introduction to Cancer June 22 - July 22, 2007

Get your goggles, fins and snorkels in place because this week we're visiting Cancer; The Crab, ruled by the moody Moon, key words I Feel.

Give their druthers, a Cancer would bring an armoured Winnebago to a Dodge 'Ems Ride. A penchant for cooking, cleaning and keeping their loved ones close has given them a reputation for being home-loving and maternal. In reality, home is truly where the heart is and Cancer is always in full, lock and load battle mode, prepared at all times and in all places to circle the wagons, bolt the doors, batten down the hatches and fight to defend everyone and everything they've ever cared about. It's no surprise that there's a new Die Hard and a new Rambo movie both coming out right now. John J. Rambo and John McClane are quintessential Cancers - at their best when fighting to protect something they love. Any attempt to breach or circumvent the security perimeter will land you firmly on their bad side; because justice will prevail and you will pay for every perceived crime, fault or lack.

Once you've been identified as friend not foe you'll find the warmest of welcomes inside the fortifications. It's cozy, bright and clean and it smells really nice. Honestly, in between the cooking and cleaning and upgrading the security systems, you wonder if Cancer has any time to relax and enjoy their own environments. And there in lies the rub.

Moony and moody is right because the lovely glow you see in a Cancerian's face is just one half of the story. Never forget that there's a whole other face, always in the dark, that you are not meant to see. During those phases when Cancer retreats into a shell, remember that they are plotting new defence strategies and if you want a place in those plans you better pick up any slack until the eclipse is passed.