Aries in Love

Aries - Who's in charge? Who's making the rules, setting the direction, setting limits? Total anarchy can be exhilarating but doesn't have much of a shelf life.

Taurus - Like an annoying older sibling, when Taurus isn't telling you what to do they're pretending to ignore you so they can catch you doing something "wrong" again.

Gemini - A Gemini always knows where he/she is going, expects you to follow along but doesn't have a clue how to get there. Eventually you'll both be lost and it'll be your fault.

Cancer - This is nice, this is cosy, all your needs are provided for and you feel completely loved. You may never find time to leave the house ever again but who cares?

Leo - If this one's even speaking to you, you'd better count your fingers and toes because 'ulterior motive' doesn't even begin to cover it. You are a pawn in a much larger game.

Virgo - You're a bit of a fixer upper in a Virgo's eyes and they are just the sign to do the job. When all is said and done, you won't recognize yourself. Is that a good thing?

Libra - You can spend years trying to please while Libra makes up his or her mind. They don't like to be rushed. Then you wake up one day and they've chosen - you're not the one.

Scorpio - Mistrusting of your straightforward honest demeanour and clear motives, Scorpio's instinct will be to dissect you in order to see what you're hiding. Ouch.

Sagittarius - Nobody appreciates candle light when the house is on fire. It'll be just like being invisible except you still won't get away with naughty stuff. What's the point?

Capricorn - You can stay just as long as you don't do anything embarrassing - like sleep with the boss's spouse, fart in public or appear more successful than your darling Capricorn.

Aquarius - There are qualities here that you admire and might like to emulate, but beware! What looks quaintly challenging is actually the tightrope walk of true insanity.

Pisces - Kind of like being with a Cancer but without all the good stuff. If you're looking for the fastest path to becoming totally neurotic, look no further, you've found it.